


Convince Me You’re Even Human

by HDremake



Category: South Park
Genre: Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Not really graphic but still kinda..., OOC, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, it’s what it says on the tin, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27240532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HDremake/pseuds/HDremake
Summary: Eric catches a rat!Kenny wishes he weren’t there.
Relationships: Eric Cartman & Kenny McCormick
Kudos: 5





	Convince Me You’re Even Human

Eric caught a rat. 

Kenny knew all about rats. He’s mastered the study of the rat according to all the other boys at school. Kenny never tried to defend himself against the accusations. So the title stuck. Kenny hears a few lucky rats scuttling within painfully thin walls.

Eric caught the rat in one of his cheap plastic school lunch containers. The kind that they sell at the local K-Mart. The kind that Kenny knows Liane stock piles on because Cartman always seems to lose them.

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for him and Eric to be left alone together. Kyle and Stan have always been so close, so Cartman became his ‘best friend’ by default. Kenny never minded all that much. He’s always been a quiet kid, keeping to himself more than necessary. Cartman’s always been a very specific brand of evil that Kenny could always deal with. Things just seemed to work themselves out. 

It was a recent development in their relationship. Cartman started coming to his house to catch rats two weeks ago. He’s been coming every wednesday since. Kenny doesn’t like it. He doesn’t stop him. He knows better than to stop him. 

A rats squealing sounds more like screams for mercy when you know more than you let on to. Cartman shakes the cheap plastic container. The rat's body moves so easily, it’s almost like it’s fake. This would be less weird if it was fake. The way he is shaking the plastic prison seems inhumanly fast, but that’s just his imagination. Cartman can’t move faster than anyone else. Cartman is human. At least, Kenny hopes he is.

It’s stopped moving. 

If that’s where it ended maybe Kenny would be better at pretending he’s a normal kid, with normal friends, and one less dead rat. But that’s never where it ends. 

Eric opens the container, and if it were under any other circumstances his excitement would’ve been cute to any onlooker. But this is Eric Cartman and anyone who knows a thing or two about Eric Cartman can tell you he is not cute. 

He always starts with the legs. It’s almost ritualistic at this point. Ripping off the legs. Cartman always makes sure to examine each one carefully. Focused eyes picking apart every detail of flesh and bone. As if Cartman wasn’t already creepy enough, he seems almost proud of it. Kenny doesn’t see how making a rat a postmortem amputee is something to be proud of.

Maybe it’s an art thing, like how Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear. Kenny’s heard plenty of adults praise van Gogh for that. He still doesn’t get how cutting off your ear makes you one of the greatest artists to ever live. 

Cartman’s pretty artistic, at least Kenny thinks so. Cartman is always humming some tune to fill in gaps of silence, dressing up, and creating stories out of the blue. Well, the stories are mostly just lies. Cartman likes to lie. Kenny’s pretty sure he’s seen Cartman draw a few times as well. Not that Cartman is very good at any of those things, but that might just help him fit in with the modern artists Kenny hears about through word of mouth. Cartman’s just a shitty modern artist or something super poetic and gay. 

It doesn’t feel like he’s witnessing something poetic when Cartman finally tears off the rats head with a deafening snap and leaves the mangled corpse for Kenny to pick up, again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in like two seconds so its not the best thing ever just had to get out an idea I had  
> definitely nothing like canon eric at all. he wouldnt do this... he’s got a soft spot for animals <3  
> who was gonna tell me that it’s very difficult to write from a 10 yr olds perspective :,,,(


End file.
